Je t'aime toujours
by QueenOllieF
Summary: I'm back! After spending 5 years away from his angel Anna, Christian Grey is once again on the hunt for her and for his heir. Will fate bring them to get her again? And if it does, how will this chaotic tale end?
1. 1: Lost Souls

**Christian P.O.V:**

Sitting in the black sedan, I think about it.  
How people trust me with their happiness; when they shouldn't.  
That's how I broke her heart. That's how I made her leave.  
"Maybe I shouldn't do this..."  
"Shut up!" I say to the nagging voice in the back of my head.  
And all breath leaves my body as I see her walk out of the nursery with the little boy in her arms. She's just there. Were just a little bit apart.  
I need to see him.  
I need to see my child.

 **Ana P.O.V:**

As I come out of the nursery doors and go towards the car I can sense someone watching me. I turn around and quickly scan the carpark. No one. I must be tired  
Teddy's half-asleep on my shoulder, and he look up at me, his eyes slowly closing.  
I walk to the car that my friend, Jack, bought for me last year for my birthday, and go to get my keys out of my bag.  
"Ana! Wait up!"  
I hear a yelling behind me and turn around to see Emily, the nursery owner running towards me.  
" **Ms** Steele, you forgot Teddy's bag."  
I give her a slim smile and grab the blue backpack off of her, "Thanks, Emily.  
After she walks off, I put Teddy's bag in the boot and strap him into his car seat, he then falls asleep instantly.  
I look at him and it hits me. It has a couple of times before. How vulnerable he looks. How like... him he looks. How much he looks like his father.  
How much that hurts.  
While driving back, I get a phone call. I put it on speaker and see that it's Kate, my best friend.  
"Hey Anna-Banana!"  
As I tell her about my boring-*ss day, I glance in the rear-view mirror and notice that the road behind me is completely empty apart from a single black car.  
It looks like a **really expensive** car.

It's 6.30pm when the doorbell rings. Teddy is in the living room watching TV and I'm cooking dinner. Finally, Jack's home...

 **Christian's P.O.V:**

Her. Ana. Her scent intoxicates me. I'm submerged in it. I'm happy. I'm drowning in her.  
I look at her.  
"We're going to Seattle!?", She asks, laughing.  
"Yep." I reply, "You ready?"  
She nods at me.  
She's Smiling.  
She's Beautifull.  
She's Mine.  
I wake up. Sweat pouring from my forehead.  
I turn and look towards the right side of the bed.  
It's empty.  
Like my heart.  
I miss her so fucking much.  
It actually hurts.  
I lie there thinking about her until sleep catches up to me  
 **Ana.**

Thank you so much for telling me there was something wrong with the chapter. And sorry!

I don't know what happened, all I know is that I'm never using my Ipad again for this story as it seems to hate it!

Have a great weekend!

-Ollie X


	2. 2: Family reunion?

**Ana P.O.V:**

I'm sitting there, in the bath, just having some time to myself,

just thinking over everything.

Everything I've been through.

When the tears start falling.

I'm so weak. Four years now and I still can't get over the same man.

My mind is filled with crazy _what if_ theories.

What if I hadn't been so stupid. What if Christian had been more accepting. What if he hadn't had gone out that night. What if I hadn't had left him.

What if...

 _No, Ana_ _,_ I tell myself, _you shouldn't think that way._

And instantly I know that the annoying little voice I the back of my head is right.

I shouldn't be so ungrateful. I have Teddy now, and Jack too.

Maybe I need a break; or a holiday.

Well, on the way home, Kate did offer to take care of Teddy for a week; and then she said that I could fly in after to spend Christmas with her, Elliot, and their daughter, Navy, in Seattle.

Wow, long time since I've been back there.

It will be fine though, I've seen Elliot from time to time, like when he and Kate have visited me or I've visited them.

And little Navy is just so cute. She's the most adorable 4-year-old with big, blue eyes and a little curly mop of blonde hair. And Teddy loves her so much, too; he thinks of her as a younger sister.

After thinking it through, I get out the bath and change into a pair of comfy pyjamas, and then call Kate.

"So, you're calling me for what reason exactly?" Kate sounds pissed off, and slightly out of breath. I instantly cringe.

"Sorry, but... Um, is the offer still standing for you to take care of Teddy?" My voice is quiet, and I hope Kate isn't too annoyed at me.

"Yeah. Um... sure. How about I send Elliot down on... Friday? He can pick up Teddy and travel with him on the plane."

"That sounds great. Thanks, Kate." I'm so glad, I get a few days to spend some time on my own, and Jack might even be able to come to Seattle with me.

Jack; I haven't seen him in ages. Maybe I should call him...

As I pick up my phone, I suddenly remember that he's still working.

Jack and I both work for "Smalley Publishings".

Well, I'm actually Jack's assistant; he's head of non-fictional publishings.

I've known him for a while; I even knew him when Christian and I were together.

And, well... He's always been there for me, especially when I was going through my divorce.

Apart from that, though, we've just been friends.

 **Mia's P.O.V:**

"So, how was work today?"

I put the phone on to the loudspeaker as I try to reverse into my parking space.

Ethan continues to speak in my ear,

"Your boss does realise you are the best at that job, doesn't he?"

As I struggle to pick up my books, I reply:

"You haven't met any of the other girls, how would you know? My work, compared to theirs, is like comparing My Little Pony to Beyonce."

"Hey! Twilight Sparkle is the wisest person I know!"

I laugh,

"I'm not surprised about that."

He chortles along with me.

"Anyway, I was calling you because Kate offered for us to stay at hers and Elliot's for Christmas."

"Depends... I might be busy working..." My mood dampens; I hardly ever get to see my family because of my new job.

"Can't you get at least a week off? Ana and Teddy are gonna be there."

I smile to myself, excited to see Ana again,

"Fine. I might be able to get some time off..."

 **Hope everybody had a great Christmas!**

 **Sorry about the late update, I actually wrote this chapter a week ago, but something went wrong, and I didn't realise until today. So I had to re-write the WHOLE thing.**

 **Quick question: Who here actually ships Mia and Ethan? Let me know in the comments section.**

 **As well, the next chapter I post will be one I was supposed to post today. As I said, I wrote both of these chapters around about a week ago, but Fanfic deleted them! Don't worry, though,** **I have notified them about the problem, and they have apologised.**

 **XOXO,**

 **Ollie.**


	3. 3: Inner Thoughts and Feelings

**A/N:**

 **Your opinions on the new cover?**

 **And Happy New Year!**

 **3rd person P.O.V:**

"Aww... Thanks, Mia..." Ana smiled up at her ex-sister-in-law while admiring the bronze bracelet Mia had gotten her.

Mia smiled back, her onyx-coloured eyes filled with the delight at seeing Ana happy.

Mia, Anastasia, Teddy, Elliot, Navy, Kate and Ethan were all scattered around Kate and Elliot's living room, opening the Christmas presents they had all gotten each other.

Kate leaned over the coffee table and handed Ana a silver envelope,

"Here," she said, "this one is from me."

Ana's eyes widened and a high-pitched squeal was audible as Ana ripped off the paper.

"Oh my god, it's two tickets to go see Coldplay next week!"

They both got up and hugged each other.

 **Meanwhile (3rd Person P.O.V):**

Grace sat in her seat, feeling awkward, while her, her husband, and her son ate dinner in complete silence.

She cleared her throat and gave Carrick a pointed look.

"Oh, well erm... How have things been going with the business, son?" He asked.

Christian didn't look up from his food. Instead, he took a sip from his wine glass and said "Fine."

Grace sat forward, clearly trying to convey some conversation,

"What about... just in general? Have you spoken to Mia recently?"

Once again Christian just sat there with a blank face, "No, she said she's busy this weekend."

"Oh... um, okay."

Grace knew Christian had never been suicidal. Maybe troubled, but not... that. But after he and Ana split up, he changed. He had gone back to being the "Ice King", but more isolated. It was like he was how he was before, but worse.

Any stranger could see it, Ana had been the best thing that had happened to him. The entire family had found it unbearable when they split up.

 **Meanwhile (with Kate and Ana):**

Ana was in the kitchen, cleanin2g up. Teddy and Navy had gone to bed a few minutes ago, and Mia, Ethan and Elliot were all in the sitting room, playing Monopoly.

"Ana, can we talk?" She turned away from the dishwasher to face Kate.

"Sure, what wrong?"

Kate took a deep breath, "Look, you know Teddy's... growing up, right?"

Ana looked confused, "Yeah..."

"Well, because of that, he's gonna start... asking questions, and wondering things..." Kate trailed off slightly.

Ana turned around again to finish clearing up, "Asking questions about what?" She said.

"Well, like... where he came from... and his family, and stuff..." Kate pursed her lips slightly.

"Well, Kate, he knows that he was born in New York and that I'm his family..." Ana was obviously trying to keep her voice steady.

Kate sighed, "You _know_ what I mean Ana..."

Ana turned around suddenly, shaking her head, "I'm sorry, but, what does _this_ have to do with _anything_?"

Kate looked down at the floor, "He and Navy came home fro the nursery one time, and he was a little bit quiet. I didn't think anything of it, and when we got home, I told them to both go play upstairs. And, then, about half an hour later, Navy came downstairs to me. She said Teddy was really upset about something, so I asked her what. Then, she said that Teddy had told her that some of the older kids at the nursery had started saying that _you-know-who_ wasn't around because he didn't love him."

Ana took a deep breath and then turned around again, "Yeah, well, he didn't."

"Come on, Ana, that's not the sort of thing you wanna be admitting to a five-year-old. Maybe it's time you finally talk, to somebody, about what actually happened."

With that, Kate walked out of the kitchen.

 **Meanwhile (with Christian):**

It wasn't up to Grace to decide what was best for him.

 ** _Maybe you should go out and meet someone new..._**

They weren't in control of his life.

 _ **We've noticed you've seemed a little bit upset, son, you know, since...**_

They weren't even his real parents.

 _ **We can help you out, Christian.**_

They couldn't tell him what to do.

 _ **Maybe it's time you finally talk, to somebody, about what actually happened.**_

 **...**

 **Sorry, it's been really long. This chapter is technically the Christmas one. (Even though it's late January ).**

 **But I've been so busy as it's my best friends 20th birthday on Thursday (love ya ❤) and I've been planning something special...**

 **Hope life's okay with all of you,**

 **-Ollie X**


	4. 4: No choice At all!

**Christian's 3rd Person P.O.V:**

"I don't care about the stupid project, Ross, this is personal stuff."

"Yeah, well, you've never let personal stuff get in the way of work before; especially with a deal _this_ big coming up!" She replied, agitated after hours of arguing on the matter.

"I'm deciding to take time off of work to sort out my family. So, for god's sake, Ross, would you just stop f*cking nagging me!"

"How dare you look down your nose at me like that. We have worked our entire lives for this! Sure, I didn't mind when you were taking a little bit of time off to be with Ana... But, this, Christian. _This_ is how your downfall begins!"

"Please, Ross... Please, just go."

"Fine." She walked off, the click of heels echoing off the walls. Only after that noise faded away, did he move.

If only Ross actually knew what was going on. He had been telling hundreds of little lies for days now, and he was in pain from it.

He picked up his cell phone from the desk. "Taylor, please ask Gail to pack a suitcase for a week or so." After that, he continued to get Andrea to cancel all his meetings that week.

* * *

 **Ana's 3rd Person P.O.V:**

"Come on, Kate. Would you please tell me where we're going?" Anna's panic was obvious.

Kate sighed.  
"I don't even know why your worrying, girl. I've got a babysitter looking after Teddy and Navy; as Elliot's being a lazy *sshole and Mia and Ethan are... Well, Mia and Ethan..."

"Pretty please, Kate. I'm already behind on work, and I need to know whether I'm gonna be able to forgive for where your gonna take us or not."  
Ana was now holding onto Kate's arm as she drove along the road.

Kate completely ignored everything Ana said.  
"I mean, come on. The may not be together, but they are still two kids who have the ability to drink and do adult stuff that may scar our children for life. Well, I mean, they're kids compared to us."

"Yeah, cause we're both super mature." Ana snapped back.

"Correcto," Kate said, pulling off a fake smile.  
And that was when Ana realised that they had parked outside somewhere. She read the sign and suddenly realised where they were.

"Really, Kate?"

It was the bar that Ana, Kate and Jose had gone one night. Were Ana had literally puked out her own liver, and he had swooped in and saved her. And, well, technically, Elliot met Kate here.

"Are you just trying to bombard me with bad memories? Seriously, Kate, you were the one who told me to move on four years ago. Coming here is not doing that."

"Look, Ana. It will be fun."

* * *

 **Later on:**

She was going to kill Kate.

* * *

 **Christian's 3rd Person P.O.V:**

He picked up the phone while in the taxi, and decided to call his brother.

"WHHHAAAATTTTT?" he held it away from his ear as the groggy voice of his little brother came through the phone.

"I'm coming to see you." That's all he said before hanging up.

 **Dun dun DUUUUNNNNN!1**

 **Cliff-hanger!**

 **I'm sorry it's short but I had to split it into two chapters so it could be more dramatic!**

 **-Ollie X**


	5. 5: Nobody asked for your opinion, Jack!

**Now (Ana):**

The bar isn't just dimly lit, it is barely lit. The floor is concrete, strewn with cigarette butts. There is a zinc-countered bar and a mirror behind it on which drink prices have been scrawled in marker. Men in flannel shirts and jeans crowded around a ragged-felt pool table. Others stood loudly drinking at the bar. The place smelled like sour, old beer and cigarette smoke.  
De Ja Vu.  
The instant wave of it makes me feel sick to my stomach.  
I don't know how I'm going to last.

* * *

 **Flashback** **(Ana):**

The bar is loud and hectic, full of soon to be graduates out to get trashed. Jose joins us. He won't graduate for another year, but he's in the mood to party and gets us into the spirit of our newfound freedom by buying a pitcher of margaritas for us all. As I down my fifth, I know this is not a good idea on top of the champagne.

"So what now, Ana?" Jose shouts at me over the noise.  
"Kate and I are moving to Seattle. Kate's parents have bought a condo there for her."  
"Dios mio, how the other half lives. But you'll be back for my show."  
"Of course, Jose, I wouldn't miss it for the world." I smile, and he puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close.

"It means a lot to me that you'll be there, Ana," he whispers in my ear. "Another margarita?"  
"More drink, Ana!" Kate bellows.

Kate has the constitution of an ox. She's got her arm draped over Levi, one of our fellow English students and her usual photographer on her student newspaper. He's given up on taking photos of the drunkenness that surrounds him. He only has eyes for Kate. She's all tiny camisole, tight jeans, and high heels, hair piled high with tendrils hanging down softly around her face, her usual stunning self. Me, I'm more of a converse and t-shirt kind of girl, but I'm wearing my most flattering jeans. I move out of Jose's hold and get up from our table.  
Whoa. Head spin. I have to grab the back of a chair. Tequila-based cocktails are not a good idea.

I make my way to the bar and decide that I should visit the powder room while I am on my feet. Good thinking, Ana. I stagger off through the crowd. Of course, there's a line, but at least it's quiet and cool in the Luis Rodriguez- are you trying to get me drunk? Because I think it's working." I giggle. "I think I'd better have a beer. I'll go get us a pitcher."

"More drink, Ana!" Kate bellows.

Kate has the constitution of an ox. She's got her arm draped over Levi, one of our fellow English students and her usual photographer on her student newspaper. He's given up on taking photos of the drunkenness that surrounds him. He only has eyes for Kate. She's all tiny camisole, tight jeans, and high heels, hair piled high with tendrils hanging down softly around her face, her usual stunning self. Me, I'm more of a converse and t-shirt kind of girl, but I'm wearing my most flattering jeans. I move out of Jose's hold and get up from our table.  
Whoa. Headspin. I have to grab the back of a chair. Tequila-based cocktails are not a good idea.

I make my way to the bar and decide that I should visit the powder room while I am on my feet. Good thinking, Ana. I stagger off through the crowd. Of course, there's a line, but at least it's quiet and cool in the corridor. I reach for my cell phone to relieve the boredom of waiting in line. Hmm...

* * *

 **Now (Ana):**

It's awkward.

There's no other way to put it.

The spluttering engine of Kate's car is the only noise.

I honestly can't stand the fact that she would take me to that stupid bar and make me feel so awkward.  
I mean, she's supposed to be my friend.

I remember a quote a writer I used to edit for once wrote: "It's a crumbling feeling. It's a feeling that makes you desperate for attention, approval, and affection. It makes you feel nauseous. It kills your self-esteem, your trust, everything. It's like you're on your first roller coaster; everything's too fast to comprehend, and as you are plunged down that steep hill your stomach lurches into your throat, choking you and making a huge tangle of organs and intestines. And when the ride ends things are a bit clearer, but everything is still dizzy and you are a bit numb. Or, worse, all your nerves are alive as ever and your senses are heightened. You want to go back on the ride again, because maybe next time the ride will be easier on you, and it will be as if it never hurt you."

It was about the true meaning of betrayal.  
The sound of Kate's phone fills the car.

She picks it up and quietly answers  
"Hey, E."

It's raining now.

"What?" Kate suddenly speaks really loudly.  
I turn around and face her, for the first time since she pulled up to the bar.

She looks at me sheepishly and then hangs up.

"Is there a problem?" I ask while toying at the bottom of my shirt.  
She sighs, looks at me, but then whips her head back towards the road.

"Nope. Just Elliot freaking me out about the fact that we left him alone. With the kids."  
I smile thinly.

My phone screen lights up.  
 ** _Guess who's visiting?_**  
It's from Jack.

I smile properly and quickly type back a response.  
Within a few minutes, Kate's on the road to where Jack is staying for the week.

She seems very interested in the ground when we arrive.  
"Bye, Ana."

* * *

 **Christian:**

He's the most adorable thing that ever graced this earth.  
He's the tiniest child with dark copper curls and light grey eyes. He has a round baby face and is about as tall as just below my knee.

When Elliot first answered the door, I was worried that he wouldn't let me in. But he just handed Theodore to me and walked away.  
Now we are in the playroom in Kate and Elliot's house, and Teddy is showing me all of his toys.

I know Ana will be really p*ssed off when she finds out that I'm here, but, I just couldn't stand it anymore. She told me to not contact her, so I didn't. I don't even know what happened.  
Did I scare her off by being a judgemental pr*ck?  
Probably.

"Look, I got blocks." Teddy is suddenly pouring a bucketful full of brightly coloured blocks on the floor.

"I like blocks," I reply.

"Uncle Elliot like blocks, too."  
Then he comes over and whispers in my ear: "He's bob the builder. But don't tell anyone! Ok?"

"Okay," I reply, laughing.

How did I ever abandon this child?

 **Ana ( _again_ ):**

"Hey, um... You okay, Ana?" Jack says while placing two bowls of mac and cheese on the table.

I pick up my fork and decide to eat a bite so I can get my thoughts together.  
"Sh*t happened with Kate," is my reply.

"Again?" He asks while offering me some water.  
"Didn't you guys used to be best friends?" I nod. "Well, from what I've seen, Kate isn't any friend to you. To me, it seems like she's acting fake and it's really damaging your friendship; and hurting your feelings, Ana."

"Yeah, but... I just don't really know where we went wrong..." I'm mixing my macaroni up with my fork.

"I think I know where." I look up at him suddenly. "I know you don't like speaking about it, but her attitude sort of changed when you... well, you know- when you got divorced..."

I sigh, because, in a way, he is right.

"I mean, is it just me, or did she start acting differently then. Like, she started avoiding your calls and stopped going out with you after work."

I nod in agreement, but tears are welling up in my ears.

"Hey, don't be upset, Ana. Look, people drift apart all the time."  
He gets up and gives me a hug.

"Jack, I just wanna go home."

* * *

He pulls up to Kate's house.

"Look, I wish I could help, Ana, but I have work. You know how it is. But anyway, you can stay with me till I leave so you don't have to worry about taking care of Teddy alone."

"Okay, Jack, thank you."

I give him a peck on the cheek and get out the car. I put the key in the lock and open the door.

* * *

 **This was a mega update!**

 **So, like quadruple the size of my normal updates!**

 **Hope you all enjoyed it!**

 **-Ollie X**


	6. 6: Madame Bovary

**Ana P.O.V (Flashback):**

"Love, she felt, ought to come at once, with great thunderclaps and flashes of lightning; it was like a storm bursting upon life from the sky, uprooting it, overwhelming the will and sweeping the heart into the abyss. It did not occur to her that the rain forms puddles on a flat roof when drainpipes are clogged, and she would have continued to feel secure if she had not suddenly discovered a crack in the wall."


	7. Hey

Sooooooo... Writers block sucks ?

And I honestly wish I was Doctor Strange or something because I have no spare time at the moment ( ).

But for now, if you want to keep up to date, here's some totally non-shameful self advertisement:

OllieF44999895

\- Ollie x


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